What do women really want? - By Jolade

fashion, beautiful woman, woman

“To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held” 

Every woman is uniquely different and beautiful.

Today I am in a generous mood and I want to do the men a favor, yes I am kind like that.

The ladies should nudge their men to read this because I am about to speak your mind. If you have been having difficulties putting into words what you want from your man just send him this article. Say something like; see what I found on the blog, apt right?

P.s make sure he reads it to the end.

A lot has been said about the female gender and the seemingly unsurmountable expectations we have of the gender that betrayed Jesus.

Well, I am about to put your speculations to rest, help you avoid some drama and douse your curiosity of the female mind.

This list is drawn up from experiences; personal, shared and told.

Many men are in a fix in their relationship because they never asked nor took the time to observe the women in their lives before making assumptions and drawing conclusions based on hasty generalization. After you have messed things up, you then ask, what do women really want? While scratching your head.

Let’s get some facts right- I want to avoid “Jolade said”, ‘she did not say’. We all know men hear only half of what women say, that is me being generous with my assertion many of you don’t even assimilate a quarter what is being said yet you wonder why the women in your life are always upset with you.

Fact 1– one size doesn’t fit all- that it worked with woman A does not mean that it would work with woman B

Fact 2 – Women are not difficult to understand- anything else is a myth. yes, I said it.

Fact 3– Do not assume- when in doubt ask! No, don’t ask another woman, ask the one you are assuming about.

Fact 4– women don’t need to be fixed- she is a capable well rounded individual.

Fact 5– women are not objects- that speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Whilst it is true that women want different things according to their taste and preferences, I am glad to inform you that there is a general consensus!  What more? The ten tips below will transform your perception and understanding of the women in your life.

A woman wants-

  1. An intuitive and emphatic listener – This is the principal thing as it forms the basis for understanding what the particular woman you are dealing with wants! In theory being an intuitive and empathetic listener sounds good, but sometimes it can be hard to understand what it looks like in practice. It means being present (not just waiting until it’s your turn to talk) and able to follow the rhythm of a good discussion and adapt with it. It also means picking up on details and remembering to bring them up later, nodding along is not enough. If this sounds like work, it’s because it is: Being a thoughtful listener is a skill that must be practiced, enhanced, and worked on regularly.
  2. An honest communicator – Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t leave them guessing or turn them to some Nancy Drew with some mystery to solve. Please throw away the notion that women cannot handle the truth or would rather believe a lie. It is better to face up and brace up. There is no need sugarcoating it all in the name of sparing her feelings. Truth is you are not; you are only postponing the evil day. The day she finds out you haven’t been honest with her is the day you lose her trust.
  3. A smart man– Have you not heard that intelligence is attractive? Even your daughter will have second thoughts about you helping with her assignments after scoring zero the previous two times you helped. You get? Stay informed and updated, read a book every once in a while hone your skill set. Be intellectually hot!
  4. A man who can make her laugh – You could do a nationwide survey of what women want in a man and every single one woman would include a sense of humor. Not only do ladies want a man who can make them laugh… and yes, that’s very important, they want a man who is able to laugh at himself. Don’t take yourself – or life – too seriously, it is not that deep. Don’t be too serious that you are unable to take a joke. Somebody cannot play with you? we know you are the head of your team but this is not your office, uncle drop your strong face. T for Tenks.
  5. A confident man- No, not king Kong! Confidence doesn’t mean puffing out your chest, bossing everyone around, having an imposing attitude or whatnot, in fact those behaviors are often a sign of a lack of confidence. The kind of confidence that women want is seen in men who know who they are and are proud of themselves. It is in the way you walk, speak, your overall carriage and demeanor. Somewhere between Jamie Foxx and Brad Pitt, are you feeling me?
  6. A respectable man- it is good to have respect as a man but are you respectable? Respect is definitely what women want in a man, but women also want someone who is respectable. Be someone your woman can be proud of so she can say that’s my man while holding her head high with a coy smile on her face. That means following through on your word, being honest, and working hard for the things you need.
  7. A dependable man- It does not matter if she is miss independent or a damsel in distress, every woman wants a man she can count on. Stability is important as she needs to feel protected and secured. You have to come correct in that department else you start losing your mystique. Women are always in awe of men who can step up in times of trouble. Be sure you grab every opportunity that situation throws at you. try out this phrases and see magic- relax, I got this; I will get that fixed; not to worry, its done. In short listen to the song Just go by Lionel Richie ft Akon and be creative with it.
  8. A clean attractive man- you don’t need to have the body of Channing Tatum but you need to stay on top of your hygiene, be well groomed, smell nice, trust me, having a great scent works like magic. Body and mouth odor is a turnoff anywhere in the world. Put effort into your dressing, women like a neatly dressed man, don’t take my word alone for it, ask around. Perception is key.
  9. A generous man- this is not just about money and what it can buy, generosity is a value that acts as an underlying current in many other traits and it is important in every part of a relationship. Giving and accepting affection, doing things for one another to make life easier, forgiving each other. be generous with your time, your compliments; we are not tired of hearing how good we look or how lucky you are to have us in your life, be generous with your shirts and boxers too. While we are at it, buy gifts depending on what she likes, thoughtful gifts, again, this is based on what she has affinity for. Don’t buy chocolate for a woman who would prefer a scarf.
  10. A romantic man- cliché? I think not! Chivalry is not dead, being a gentleman is not out of fashion. She likes music? Play some. Poetry? Write or copy some. A romantic gesture is anything that makes her feel important to you. Notice the little things and make sure to appreciate them. Do favors for her. Give her surprises that show you’ve been thinking about her. It’s never a bad idea to make a special woman feel special. Romance is something women will be always want. Do not be stingy with romance, o wrong! All those songs you listen to put them into practice. Michael Bolton didn’t sing soul provider for nothing.

There you have it menfolk! Easy, right? All it takes is being intentional and willingness to learn. Remember where I started from, each woman is uniquely different but I can tell you for free that the list up there is the truth.

Every other specific tailor made want of the woman in your life is predicated on the ones listed above. If you truly want to meet the needs of the woman in your life or the woman you’d like to have in your life, it will take time, effort, and trust.

Don’t say I didn’t do anything for you!



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21 thoughts on “What do women really want?”

  1. Akin, you got me intrigued. I created that time to read this and I must say, its Apt.
    I’m definitely sharing.


    I scored myself 5/10 on what women wants. I sure have a lot of work on my hands. I used to be romantic before we got married but after marriage, it was about getting the money and food on the table. That romance life evaporated fast. On some of the wants I scored myself half over 1.
    If you’re 10/10, please let Akin know so you can lecture us on how you do it…lol. Interesting read from a strong demanding woman.

    1. The cares of every day living can really throw a spanner in the works. But can we be more intentional? A tiny little bit perhaps?

  3. Hafees Lekan oyekunle

    Sometimes, one can’t really tell what a woman want but then, real women want all aforementioned. Thanks for this sir

  4. Adedamola Ilori

    Nice one Jolade, sure I’ve learnt something extra . I can’t fault anything on that list as am more convinced with the submissions of some.ladies on the writeup. Time to get to work. Nice one sis

  5. Pingback: How men want their women! – Akin Akingbogun

  6. ibilola Famugbode

    This is sooo insightful.This right here practically sums up everything I want. It would be nice to have the men’s version of this too so we can also make the necessary adjustments to meet our men halfway. Jolade has always done Justice to whatever she decides to write about. It would be nice to see the face behind the keyboard… Lol! Thank you Akin for the platform.

  7. All the points are so true, funny enough I know about 70% of this. Since getting married and having kids, my perspective has changed because of the responsibilities. It is now time to make a conscious effort to make my wife happier than she presently is. Thank you for this article Akin.

  8. Pingback: Most Popular blog Post of 2021 – Akin Akingbogun

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