Gentleman’s guide to Dinner Etiquette “A gentleman is one who puts more into the world
To love is to be vulnerable?
Story by Dupe Bobadoye
When Femi met Bimbo, he was mesmerized. Day and night, she occupied his thoughts and how to make her his woman.
Femi had attended a birthday party in the ancient city of Ibadan. While he was having a couple of drinks with his friends, he heard a loud giggle behind him. As he turned to look at those whose giggling were louder than the music, his eyes caught the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
A group of friends were laughing at the jokes the celebrant shared with them and Bimbo stood out amongst them. Femi was transfixed. His friends wondered what had happened to their friend and they all turned to look in the direction of what had stolen his attention. Lo and behold, it was Bimbo!
“Hey! What’s up now? Why you dey look person pikin like that?” said one of his friends as he slapped the back of his head.
“She’s so beautiful.” Femi answered like one who had just been shot by Cupid’s arrow.
“That’s Bimbo. She’s a friend of the celebrant’s sister,” said Yemi his other friend.
“Guy please help a brother now, I can’t let this one go,” said Femi as he continued to stare.
“Watch and learn,” said Yemi as he dragged Femi along to the ladies’ table.
“Hello ladies, I can see you are having fun. Permit me to steal your friend,” he said as he took Bimbo’s hands and introduced her to Femi who was standing behind him.
“Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?” said Femi while Yemi was introducing them to one another.
“My name is Femi, I am an engineer with PPP Construction,” he said.
“I am Bimbo, pleased to meet you,” she responded as they shook hands.
“Do you mind joining me on the dance floor?” asked Femi.
“Oh, the pleasure is all mine,” she replied as they walked to the dance floor and danced for a while.
They later exchanged contacts and parted ways that night. Femi couldn’t thank his friend, Yemi enough. When he got home, he could neither eat nor sleep as Bimbo filled his thoughts all night. He could not wait for the break of dawn as he mustered all his courage and contacted her asking for a date and she agreed. He felt like the luckiest man of the moment.
Femi was an outgoing, fun loving and charming young man. He was the typical ladies’ man but from the day he met Bimbo, he was willing to sheathe the sword of his numerous escapades and get serious with Bimbo.
They finally went out on their first date and during the course of their conversation, they both discovered they were from the same state.
“Where in Ondo state?” he asked.
“Ile Oluji,” she replied.
“Oh my God! That’s my town too!” he exclaimed.
They both laughed out loud on discovering they shared a common ground. Without any much ado, they decided to take their friendship to the next level.
They always had so much to talk about most especially because they were from the same town and always had their communication in their local dialect. They became almost inseparable and a lot of Femi’s friends envied him. The love birds had their hearts fixed on marriage and could not wait to meet each other’s families but their jobs couldn’t afford them the opportunity of travelling down to their home town as they were always busy with work.
After a year into their relationship, Femi’s siblings came visiting. Femi had invited Bimbo over to come and meet his siblings and she was ecstatic about meeting her would be in-laws. As soon as she closed from work, she branched at the market to buy ingredients for their local delicacies. His siblings were also excited to meet her and they all had so much to talk about.
One thing she observed was the constant use of the word ‘Egin’ by his siblings each time they referred to their brother. Initially, she thought to ignore it but the frequency of the use of that word was something she couldn’t overlook. ‘Egin’ is used in the local parlance to refer to an older person among people from Ondo town. Now, Ondo town is just a neighbouring town to Ile Oluji. People from her own town never use that word and that for her was a red flag.
Later that night, she said her goodbyes to Femi’s siblings and he walked her to her car. As soon as they got to the car, she looked at him and said,
“Egin! Really? When did we start saying Egin in our town?” Femi was caught off guard.
He had been so much in love that he missed that somewhat little but very important detail. He didn’t remember to warn his siblings against the use of that word while in his house and that was what sold him out. He was caught red handed in a big lie.
At that moment, his brain could not find a plausible explanation for his action. He just froze. All he could do was to plead with her.
“Are you from Ondo?” she asked.
“I am sorry Bimbo, I was looking for the right time to tell you because I didn’t want to lose you,” he replied.
“Oh, so all these while, you have been lying to me?” she said angrily.
“You know I cannot marry an Ondo man, yet you chose to lie to me! I am so done with you right now!” she exclaimed as she started her engine and zoomed off.
Femi stood on the same spot, sad that he was about to lose the one woman he truly loved and angry at the same time that his siblings couldn’t keep their mouth shut. As soon as he came back to his senses, he stormed into his apartment and started yelling at his siblings.
“What is wrong with you people?! Who invited you here? Why couldn’t you just keep your dirty mouth shut?!” He cursed and cursed as he stormed to his room and slammed the door.
His siblings were at a loss. They only wondered what had happened to their brother who was so happy a moment ago and had suddenly turned to another person.
All night, he thought of what to tell Bimbo, but his heart failed him. He could not find answers as he feared the worst was about to happen. His many happy months were about to vanish into thin air. He was about to lose the one person that meant the whole world to him.
The next day, he rushed down to Bimbo’s house to plead with her. She was home but wouldn’t let him in. The days turned into weeks and Bimbo refused to speak with him. Finally, he caught up with her at work and tried to ask for her forgiveness but Bimbo looked at him scornfully and said,
“It is over between us. You and I know that people from my town can’t marry people from your town; so, if you know what is good for you, stay away from me!” Femi was shocked.
The words that she spoke to him shattered his heart. He watched helplessly as she walked away from him. He had come to love Bimbo so much but the person he just saw walk away from him was a total stranger. He was so heartbroken. For many days, he beat himself over Bimbo. His morale nose-dived completely. Even his friends couldn’t get him to cheer up. He sent his friends to plead on his behalf but all his pleas fell on deaf ears. He knew he had lost her for good.
About a year later, he met Sade and one of the first things he asked her besides her name was where she was from. Fortunately, she was an Ijesha woman. They courted for a while and got married and had their own family.
Some years later, he travelled to Oshogbo for a job and while he was on lunch break, a familiar face walked past his car. He took a closer look and behold, it was his beloved Bimbo. Both of them were pleasantly surprised to have crossed paths again after so many years. They exchanged pleasantries and sat under a tree as they had so much to talk about.
“How are you, Bimbo?” asked Femi.
“Very well, thank you,” she replied.
“How is the family? Husband? Children? Everyone?” he continued. She looked at him, smiled and said,
“Well, family is so-so.”
“What do you mean by so-so?” he probed further.
“Well, after we broke up…….” “After you left me” he interrupted.
“I met someone and we got married but due to irreconcilable differences, we had to go our separate ways,” she said.
“Awww, I am sorry to hear that,” said Femi.
“What about you? Are you married now?” she asked.
“Married? Since you broke my heart, I have not been able to find anyone to replace you. You left me hanging, and now, fate has brought us back together,” he said.
“I am sorry things happened the way they did. I wish I knew better,” she said with a sad countenance. He patted her on the back and said,
“It’s okay, life has a way of bringing the dead and the lost together and I am glad our paths have crossed again.”
“Where do you live now?” he asked.
“I still live in Ibadan, I only came here for an official assignment.” she said.
“Oh, that’s great. It means we’ll be seeing more of each other,” he said as he stood up to take his leave.
He collected her address with a promise to check on her whenever he was around. When he got to his car, he smiled as he thought of all the good times they had shared, how they promised to wait till marriage before any form of intimacy. He looked at the address and said to himself, “I’m back!”
As soon as he got back to Ibadan, he made sure he located her. He visited her regularly and re-positioned himself into her life. Most times, he’d tell his wife he was travelling on official assignments and ‘travel’ to Bimbo’s house despite being in the same city.
Every time he visited, he made sure he made love to her since that never happened while they were together in the past. He would buy her foodstuffs and some other provisions.
Bimbo on her part was super excited. Her old flame was being fanned to fire or so she thought. Femi never missed a month without visiting her and spending some quality time with her just as she always looked forward to seeing him again. She was already dreaming of giving marriage another shot. She started raising the issue of marriage with him but he always told her to calm down and not rush things.
Finally, after many months of romance, she decided to have a serious conversation with him.
“Where are we going from here?” she asked.
Femi gave her a puzzled look and asked,
“What do you mean?” She smiled, held his hands and said,
“By now, we should be thinking of settling down. We are not getting any younger.”
He looked at her and said,
“Have you forgotten that I am an Ondo man?” She shook her head and replied,
“We can work these things out. It doesn’t matter where you come from. We are two consenting adults, we know what we want and we love each other and that is all that matters.”
Femi laughed out loud and said,
“Look my dear, whatever your taboos are, I don’t think I want to be a part of it. You had already established the fact that we could never get married and I am willing to respect that.” He stood up and kissed her goodbye.
That was the last time she ever saw or heard from him again. Femi on his part had taken his revenge for his heartbreak and after feeling satisfied, focused on his wife and children and never contacted Bimbo again.
Summary: Think carefully before you break a heart and if you ever say good night in a place, don’t ever make the mistake of saying good evening there again. You just might fall victim of a vengeful person.
Living with DiD – famous cases in history Dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly referred to as
Another DiD story – the disorder described in #WoS Dissociative identity disorder (DID) continues to
Dissociative Identity Disorder DID – Dissociative Identity Disorder “Do I have dissociative identity disorder?” Somewhere
My interview with the Punch newspapers – there is a writer in each of my
The unseen hands behind the scene – By Dupe Bobadoye “Despite these unseen hands which
Always a gentleman and a half – my Alpha story “Education begins the gentleman, but
Save the Children – by Jolade Foolishness is indeed in the heart of a child.
Scarcity of Husbands – by Dupe Bobadoye “Marrying a good man could easily mean that
Domestic Violence – the monster in us all Some women are monsters. Some moms, aunties,
Love is not enough (Part 2) – another short story Love is great. Love is necessary. Love
Love is not enough (Part 1) – another short story Love is great. Love is necessary. Love
What to do while you wait – for your plans to come through “Patience is