My Cri De Cœur – By Jolade

Feel what you need to feel and then let go. Do not let it consume you” Dhiman

Honey your soul is golden!

Some mornings you wake up and it seem like the weight of the world is on your shoulder. You would rather pull the covers back over your head to escape the realities around you forgetting you were literally beaten to pulp in the dream you just woke up from.

Some days you wonder how you will make it through, the horizon looks bleak with all the attending gloom. The thunders scare you, the bellows shaking you to the core of your being unravelling your soul leaving you bare to the elements.

Sometimes you want to throw in the towel, you wonder if any of these is worth it. Why do you have to give so much and get so little? You ask questions that bear no answers, shaking your head in anger and disgust. Of course! You did not plan for any of these to happen. As far as you know, you are an innocent bystander who got dealt a cruel hand in a game no one taught you how to play.

You walk the street on a rainy day, all you have in mind is getting to your destination in one piece and not be late. Suddenly, the notorious Danfo you are supposed to board splashed muddy water mixed with an exotic concoction of Lagos waste on your pants! The same one you got the London tailor to tack on the worn zip for the 3rd time in six weeks. See dilemma!

Some mornings the sun doesn’t shine, the clouds are huge and overcast, darkness flows in the crevice of your soul, your heart is heavy and it seem like there is no respite in sight. The air in your room is laden with the smell of your helplessness and grief you simply cannot breathe. You touch your face but you don’t even know you are crying, salty rivulets soaking you pillow through your hands yet no sound comes out of your mouth.

They would pick your call on the first ring, but you got the machine for the twentieth time today. You can hear your own heart breaking from the strain of broken promises and dreams, the weight of unmet expectations and the hollowness of helplessness. You grab your pillow for comfort as the realization that the love you hoped to keep was never yours to hold. You ask where it all went wrong recounting the steps that led to this exact moment.

You have walked a distance when you realized there is nowhere to go. You feel like the penguin calling for its mate who had passed away the winter before, lost and alone without a place to call home.

You reach out to hold on to something but all you grab is empty air, it feels like water slipping through your fingers, weary like a lone traveler walking the path alone having drained the last drop of water from his jug, seven hours ago.

Suddenly, the center doesn’t hold anymore, that perfect life has come unraveled revealing all the parts and parcels you have tried so hard to hide and make wholesome for the looking crowd. The pack of cards carefully crafted is all coming down but there is nothing you can do than to watch as the cookie crumbles and the cup of milk so well placed comes crashing down splashing right at your feet. You barely save your dainty feet from being pierced by the shards of glass laying around daring you to take a wrong step.

Yes, it can all come crashing down.

True, some days we don’t want to wake up.
The flowers don’t bloom and the roses doesn’t smell sweet.
The colors aren’t vibrant and the cloud is grey.
The waters too cold for comfort and the heat unbearable.
The nights seem long, hard and unending.

The storm is fierce and relentless badgering you on every side you are almost certain you’d perish.

But here you are still waking up and showing up with a smile plastered on your face. You keep giving your best because you know your day will come and all the seemingly unending troubles will cease.

You look up the horizon and feel the sun on your face, you look up smiling, you can feel it’s about to be a wonderful day filled with possibilities waiting to be explored and new heights to attain.

You roll up your sleeves knowing there is work to be done, you pick yourself up because no one will do it for you and you are your own greatest cheer leader.

Pick up your pompoms sweetheart the drumline is coming.

You turn up your face as you step out in the rain, pick up your umbrella because the downpour cannot stop you from getting to your destination. Your wind breaker and jelly shoes are on fleek and you are about to flaunt them no end.

You look up to the sky to see a streak of the golden sun shining through the clouds warming up your face and aching body as the shadows fall behind. You know with confidence that the gloom you see is about to dissipate, light is about to break through and the day is about to be a hit back to back.

You unlock your doors to let the air in chasing the darkness away. Your spirit is bright, your smile is warm and your coffee is hot! The spring to your steps is clear for all to see, you are about to take on the world and they are not ready for the spice you bring but you will give them anyway. All the reasons they gave you why it cannot work are about to be disproved by you. This is you rising above the storm while they wonder how you made it through.

The day will arrive when you will wonder why you ever begged them to love you. You will be high on self-love knowing that you are worth it. Your heart will heal, your soul refreshed, you will not settle for a love that was made to break you and the love you deserve will come to you.

You will find out that you matter, all that has happened is to prepare you for something greater than you could ever imagine only if you let yourself see that this life is yours for the taking and only you can live it to the fullest. It is true that the road is hard and it looks like a long way to go but there is a beautiful destination right ahead of you. Just open your eyes to see the beauty that abounds and you will realize you are not alone.

You may not see it yet but your day will come, you will look to the skies and see the magic of the rainbow. The flowers will burst out in colors so bright with their fragrance making your head spin. The channels will break open and your life will be flooded with all that you have ever desired, prayed and wished for.

Tough time don’t last but tough people do is a saying we are all conversant with, the most inspiring people in history are the ones who chose to never give up regardless of their circumstances. They took situations that look like their end and turned it to a new beginning, a few examples I am certain people are familiar with- Jim Carrey, Turia Pitt, Jay-Z, Nick Vujicic, Ben Carson Colonel Sanders, Malala Yousafzai, Nelson Mandela. I dare say it is the way we choose to look at it!

Here are a few things to do when the wind is out of your sail –

Pray– Ask God or whatever higher powers you believe in for strength to carry on, it works!

Give– of yourself, time, your resources. What we give comes back to us.

Get inspiration– when all the chips are down it is best to connect to a source of hope. Things that give meaning to our live and reasons to go on.

Surround yourself with positive energy – Iron Sharpens iron. Choose to be around people who lift your spirit, who inspires you and never fail to tell you that your dreams are valid. People who tell us it is ok to realign and strategize, to pause and reflect.

Don’t stop Moving– don’t settle. Keep the momentum. Never give up. Try again. Give it another shot.

So I tell you today to believe in your own magic, step out of your comfort zone and see the transformation happen. I am not telling you it is going to be easy, I am telling you it’s going to be worth it.

Definition of terms

Danfo– a rickety bus used in the lagos metropolis.
London tailor – usually a man who carries out simple tailoring functions using a mobile sewing machine

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8 thoughts on “My Cri De Cœur”

  1. Adedamola ilori

    Hi Jolade,thanks for this write up,very inspiring and refreshing, I can feel some heat escape my body.
    Thanks once again

  2. There has been no time, that a reboot process for the soul has been more pertinent to life, than now.

    This is not how to get someone motivated at random. With the current uncertainty in human existence, this is a reset button for everyone. Rich, poor, oppressor, oppressed, believers and non-believers alike.

    Pray. Give. Get inspired. Seek positivity. Don’t stop moving.

  3. This heavy feeling of not being enough can be quite depressing, buh we must keep pressing. Thank you for this inspiring and spirit-lifting piece

  4. Yinka H Elegbede

    I sure needed these words of encouragement. I’m on the verge of a breakthrough but I am fighting doubts and unbelief. Another master piece from you is all I needed to push on. Thanks bro

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