Gentleman’s guide to Dinner Etiquette “A gentleman is one who puts more into the world
Bilkiss looked amazing in the mini-dress she had on that night. It was flattering, cute and gave her a sense of feminine confidence. Her dress sat above her knees when she walked over with the boys to their table. When she sat, it rose a few inches higher revealing her velvety smooth thighs and a blurred view of her undies. She was dressed to seduce.
She was a fair skinned damsel, 24years old and out of school. Her beauty was accentuated by the colorful lights dancing around the club that night. When her beautiful dark eyes reflected the light, they made tiny stars. She was the pick of the club that night and the envy of the bevy of ladies on the dance floor. And Collins loved to win and nothing felt more like winning than going away with the trophy for the night.
For Collin’s taste, that was a comfortable degree of sexy and she had curves to die for. He loved her softness when he held her by the waist and she smelled like subtle notes of petal showers creating the most welcoming haze for his weary brain to rest in.
“Thanks for joining us. I couldn’t take my eyes off you all evening Bilkiss and you look amazing in that dress” Collins struggled to string words together after they had introduced each other.
“Thank you…..ehhh” Bilkiss pretended to forget his name and beckoned to him to fill it in for her.
“Call me Collins” he failed to notice her impudence. The alcohol was working wonders on his cognition.
“Let’s dance, shall we” and then the two of them made the way to the dance floor.
Tolani on the other hand was as sexy as every natural bloom and as pretty as the meadow flower. There was a richness to her skin that Princewill found attractive. Her dark skin was as rich and deep as any stately home mahogany.
She shone brighter in the mini dress that hugged her modest curves than a gazillion watt bulb. Everything about her breast, backside and curves were quite modest, especially when Bilkiss returned from the dance floor with her full package making the contrast very obvious.
But she had confidence oozing through her too. Perhaps a learned skill required for navigating the unpredictable club scene.
She knew that she had to choose her partners carefully and it was always better to wait until they had enough drinks to accede to their yearnings. She had a regal feel to her movement, like something calculated but appearing carefree.
The two pretty-faced boys had played to the script and played into her hands.
Tolani was also from the Lagos and it was easy to get along with Princewill who had a charming smile on when he ran his palm over her waist.
Princewill let his eyes slide over her body, adding up her pluses and minuses like a mathematical equation. She ranked high enough to be on his radar and she just earned herself the right to be added to his list of conquests. The excitement of the pleasure in the night ahead ran all the way down to his groins. He suddenly leaned in to give Tolani a kiss. Even when their lips touched and he probed with his tongue, her lips remained sealed disapproving.
“Common, what’s wrong? Let’s have fun”
“We will, but not in public please” Tolani replied politely.
“Okay. Come seat on my legs?” She obliged.
The night was getting to be more fun as they ordered even more drinks and food adding to the glitz and glam.
They were the toast of the night!
While the two friends shared the table with the two ladies, they had no clue that the ladies weren’t exactly a pair. They just happened to have moved on the boys with the mastery of a marksman.
“How is your girl?” Princewill leaned in to whisper into his friend’s ears.
“As hot as fire, but those tits. Man, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for those.” Collins winked, grinning wider. Then lowered his voice.
“This one is going home with me tonight”
Princewill checked his watch, it read 1.27am.
“I guess it’s time to hit the road Collins”
They paid for the drinks and made their way out of the club watching as the eyes of other gentlemen in the club popped at their dates. Collins loved to rub it in whenever he picked his ladies. He lived for moments like that.
Collins started exchanging passionate kisses with Bilkiss as they staggered towards his car. They would stop briefly and bask in their new found romance, letting the ripples of passion flow through every inch of their bodies.
“Open the door Collins, we can’t wait too” Princewill blurted as he held on to Tolani’s waist on the other side of the car.
“You don’t talk much do you?” He whispered as Tolani looked him in the eyes wearing a well-rehearsed smile.
They were soon in the car, Bilkiss in the passenger seat in front along with Collins and the other lovebirds nestled at the back seat in each other’s arms.
Collins envied Princewill for a moment because unlike him, stuck in front of the steering wheel, he had both hands available to rove through the body of his date as soon as he started the engine.
“We should buy condoms please” Bilkiss voice had a bit of urgency to it.
“Okay” Collins resigned as he killed the engine close to a kiosk just by the road side right outside the club and then stepped out to get the condoms.
“I want a ribbed condom” Bilkiss added as she stuck her head out of the car window.
“Ribbed condom?” the boys chorused
“What’s that for?” Princewill added
“I just like ribbed condoms” Bilkiss snapped
Tolani and Princewill shared a mocking laugh that seemed to hurt Bilkiss feelings.
“How is that funny please” Bilkiss was starting to get into a mood as she turned to face the couple at the backseat. She muttered a string of words in Hausa in contempt. A language that both Collins and Princewill could not converse in. They just weren’t interested in learning the local language anyway.
“Please and please mind your business” Tolani retorted sharply ignoring her subtle vituperation.
Bilkiss wasn’t quite done however, she continued to stoke the embers as she spoke in clear Hausa pouring more invectives at Tolani.
A brief shouting match followed which was doused as soon as Collins returned to the car.
“What is this about ladies?” a rhetorical question neither of the ladies where interested in answering. But the mood in the car had changed slightly. An uncomfortable silence that no one could miss enveloped the car.
“Here” Collins handed over a handful of colorful condom packs to Bilkiss.
“Ribbed as you want them” he added.
The couple at the backseat reeled off into another round of laughter.
Collins didn’t quite understand what the joke was, but he steered the car into the road and into the quiet night.
The night had just began!
In the aftermath of religious crisis that left parts of the city in ruins several months earlier, the military had taken up positions on all inter-state roads. Driving through the city during the afternoon was a herculean task as military check-points dotted every 200m section of the road causing traffic log jam that stretched for miles. But driving through the night was much easier. The military check-points were still there but as the vehicle meanders through sandbags and metal barricades, a soldier would step out with a torchlight to inspect the occupants and carryout security checks.
It had become a routine and most drivers had no problem slowing down to exchange pleasantries with the soldiers.
Collins had driven past two of the check-points already as subtle music seeped out from his car speakers. He took occasional looks at Princewill through the mirror and watched as he enjoyed an intense kiss with his companion- Tolani. They were already getting into the mood.
He couldn’t wait to get to the hotel. He shot Bilkiss a lustful look and they shared a moment as he held her left hand while he maneuvered the car with his left hand.
“Ribbed condoms” Tolani and Princewill chorused together from the backseat again with a bout of derisive laughter taunting Bilkiss!
Bilkiss couldn’t stomach the contempt and disrespect any longer as she turned to face Tolani while blurting out swear words in Hausa.
Tolani responded in Hausa instantly to the Princewill’s surprise.
If only he knew that she had lived long enough in Kaduna to learn and understand the language of the locals.
Within seconds both girls had started a vicious shouting fit. Only this time it soon turned physical.
Whatever Bilkiss said in Hausa must have been so disdainful and hurtful because Tolani bent over to picked up one of her heels and thrust it into Bilkiss face. A painful scream rent the air as blood left the artery it belonged above her left eye in surges, spluttering out by a fast beating heart. The scream was from deep within and it echoed through the car.
Seeing crimson red blood everywhere, Princewill grabbed his companion feebly as the alcohol had taken its toll on his strength.
Bilkiss sprang out from her passenger seat in front to grab Tolani’s hair and a fisticuff followed by kicking and more screams ensued.
Bilkiss was fighting for pride and her rage knew no bounds.
Collins tried to pull Bilkiss back to her seat with his left hand as he could see the faint lights from the next Military checkpoint about 100m away.
“This cannot continue” he thought to himself.
“Princewill, call these girls to order” He bawled as he swerved the car to upset the momentum of the fighting girls. They both hit the windows as the car veered to the right.
But both ladies weren’t letting go.
Collins swerved the car to the side of the road in a sharp maneuver and stepped on the brake violently with both feet, jerking Bilkiss back into the passenger seat, before restraining her with both his hands
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He was livid with anger
“Are you crazy?” His anger came on like an impossible build up steam, burning him on the way out as he tore Bilkiss an angry eye.
“What is wrong with you?” Collins went on.
Bilkiss looked him in the eyes and replied
“You are mad”
That was it. All bets were off.
Collins landed a firm open palm on Bilkiss cheeks with the smack resounding and reverberating in the car. What he didn’t anticipate was that Bilkiss would return the slaps in double folds, equally as intense and painful that he could hear the white noise ringing in his ear drum.
She was about to land the third one when he held her hand in a swift move.
But she was a raging woman who felt hurt and was now out of control.
Since she couldn’t land another slap on Collins, she hit her open palm first on the dashboard swearing and cursing before hitting the windshield in her attempt to show the occupants of the car that she wasn’t a push over. All the while screaming invectives in Hausa.
“You are in trouble. You have the audacity to hit me” she yelled.
The impact of her open palm on the windshield caused crack streaks to run from the pressure point radiating outward and throughout the now crackled glass obscuring visibility.
They couldn’t believe their eyes as they watched the cracks stretch through the windscreen.
Stunned and lost for word, Collins turned to look at Princewill in utter shock.
“What the hell”
Catch up on Chapter 4 here
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