I am 29 - at least at heart (Part 1)

“At 20, everything is possible and tomorrow looks friendly.”
Jim Bishop

8 mins read

M ore often than not and for anyone who cares to listen I have always declared proudly that I am yet to cross into my 30s. Most times, the listener looks at me in disbelieve with an awry smile seemingly mocking my self-delusion.

How can one rationalize this statement when my facial hairs have already started springing the grey shades?

It could be that perhaps I am absolutely confident in my youthful look and physique, or perhaps I would rather be forever young, basking in the freedom of youthfulness.

In my head I have stayed 29 for over a decade! And amazingly I feel that way too.

To put this in context, I am not forty but twenty-nine, with eleven years’ worth of experience.”

I’ve learned quite a lot of important life lessons over my first29” years of life and I would like to share 11nos of these points that you may be considered arguable but with very good intentions.

1: You must take Life by the scruff of the neck!

“Life happens” is one statement a lot of people make to rationalize their situations. I liken this statement to being tossed about by the virulent waves of the sea with no safe harbor. Completely at the mercies of the life’s whims and caprices and yet accepting same as your lot!

These lot thrive on life’s small favors, luck and goodwill. Sauntering through life’s dark corridors and alleys oblivious of the innate strength available to change their situation.

Those who rise up to life’s fierce battle are the audacious and successful people with a strong vision and strong will. They have envisioned their future and have prepared themselves painstakingly for it. They refuse to let situations weigh them down, they are emotionally strong, aggressive yet humble in their quest for a better future.

The earlier you realize that you play a major role in your own life’s story and remain undeterred by the challenges which life throws at you, the sooner you’d begin to ride on the thrashing waves of life to propel yourself to the heights that would amaze you to the envy of your peers.

Don’t wait for life to happen, take chances, be audacious! 

2: You must never stop learning!

There are so many amazing things to learn in life!  We are completely inundated with information every day from the internet, books and everyone around us.

It is important that we are open to learning new stuff every day.

Decades ago, to learn more about new things we would have to go to the university or public libraries hoping to scan through bookshelves, book racks and cases for the book with the faintest mention of anything new. It was so much effort sometimes yielding little or no findings.

The long line of students waiting to read the same book and the extra length you would have to go to make a copy of the book once you find the current reader through the library card can be daunting.

Alas, the new age of internet explosion is cluttered with too much information. It is a pity if you go through life’s hustle and bustle without going home with new knowledge.

As they say “the day you stop learning is the day you die

New information is practically at your finger tips. Google and I are best of buddies. We would celebrate our decade long friendship in due course.

Not to mention Wikipedia and tons of apps that keep me wired to the high stream of information and learnings. 

3:  Hardwork always pays – forget smart work

The new norm is to work smart. Find the easy route, be self-aware, be realistic about what you can achieve, specify your goal, avoid multitasking et cetera.

But guess what, the traditional hard work requires you to roll up your sleeves, get your hands dirty, put in the time, push yourself far and above your limit, get results and much more.

Every word up in that second paragraph feels like so much trouble, so much effort.

But great men worked hard! Success doesn’t just happen to people. It takes a lot of work. Hard –put your nose to the grind- work. No shortcuts! None whatsoever.

This may sound so conservative and old fashioned, but you will never go wrong by putting in the sweat for the good cause/reason.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes. “The heights that great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.”

No jokes fellas, but these great men weren’t playing. They stayed up all night, “toiling”. Goodness me! How is that working smart?

I have learnt that no effort sowed in sincerity and for a good cause is a waste.

Trust me, Life’s journey is long, bumpy, tiring and roller-coaster, you will need to sow the seeds of hard work to reap success along the way. 

4: Always put in the extra at everything

Every time I think about this important lesson, the word “sophistication” pops up.

You are not in life’s competition to be normal. Being normal is so boring! Being different, unique, weird and crazy will give you the cutting edge.

Who wants to just be “perfect”? Well not me certainly. I do not demand approval from anyone and I owe no one any explanation for my choices for as long as they are in tune with my personal goals and objectives.

I dare to be different. I would take my chances (although a bit reserved) for as long as it is within my moral compass.

How best would you make a difference in anything you do without being the difference?

Would you just rather trudge on through life’s winding road content with being just one of them? Avoiding drama, spotlight, running under the radar like the vast majority of people.

You probably would never know what you are missing by playing it safe. Not being the unique person, the different one, the one with a little something extra, the one they call weird!

I simply can’t fathom it sadly.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not mean that one must be unnecessarily desperate for attention or being completely overzealous to show one’s worth, but the word “sophistication” does the talking for me.

Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door” attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sophistication is a style, a mindset, and a way of life. It’s not for the normal people.

Sophisticated people always have the subtle difference, the little extra, the edge and the winning advantage.

That little extra, the difference will get you noticed far more easily than normal.

5, Don’t hesitate to fall in love

It took me some time to get a drift of this. I struggled really hard. My exploits with the women-folk is legendary. It is like an S curve. Strewn in a hopeless loop of excitement and heartbreak.

Having such strong feelings about someone else shook me to my very core. It made me reevaluate my beliefs and value system. I learned what it was like to really care about someone. Everything I had believed, everything I stood for, suddenly disappeared. I found a whole new world opened up for me.

At the start you fall in love easily and then you hit a bump somewhere on the road, suffer an excruciating heart break, and then enter the vicious cycle of shielding that heart away from vampires smacking their lips off your blood.

We shy away from falling in love (hopelessly) because it makes us vulnerable, completely at the mercy of our lover. Lost beyond rational thinking. Oblivious to any other humans and walking in the cloud.

Amongst the many feelings, one of these would describe loving someone;

Love gives you incredible inspiration

Love makes you happy.

Love makes you hopeful.

Love makes you grateful.

Love makes you inspired.

Love changes your life.

Being in love makes you feel inspired. It gives you a can-do attitude that you can approach anything, anywhere, anytime. Being in love gives you motivation. Your attitude is optimistic and always positive.

Love on the other hand can be a total jack arse(mind my grammar). It can be very hurtful, painful, depressing, saddening, blind, foolish, unreasonable, and exploitative and a lot more of the negative vibes that you can think of.

But is that enough reason not to feel the wonderful emotions that love offers?

In my books, falling in and out of love despite being a tricky subject is a huge learning point in anyone’s life. If we are out to learn every day, falling in love offers a big bland canvas for learning.

The end point is that happiness is a choice, it doesn’t depend on anyone or anything. Every human being is responsible for their own happiness.

So what do I say?

Fall in love, get hurt, get over it, grow up, fall in love again. Akin Akingbogun

6, Watch what you say

The tongue has an incredible power. I am not talking about the pink blob crawling the floor of our mouth alone, but the words that the tongue facilitates.

The power of life and death lies in the tongue, check out proverbs 18:21

One must speak with the christian faith and exude absolute positivity and optimism in everything within your purview.

Whatever must proceed from the mouth must be well measured, controlled and polite. Hurtful words amidst the rage of uncontrollable anger can hurt people irreparably and create wedge too difficult to surmount.

Every word must be weighed deliberately with the precision of a premium goldsmith tool, never amiss and always with the intent to add beauty.

Speak the right words to yourself about your future, your desire, your wish. Make it known publicly and declare it with conviction. Let this drive your accountability and validate your integrity. Act the words you speak!

7: Dream Big

I always relish the chance to dream. Daydream, night dream, whatever dream.

It’s my movie, I am the producer, the director, the actor and the script writer.

 It’s my business and it’s in my head.

The question shouldn’t be whether to dream or not, but the quality of the dreams one should have.

Is your dream in high definition HD or monochrome?

I say boldly that the quality of your dreams would determine how far you will achieve in life. Your dream should be as precise as the color of the car, the smell of the food, the size of the office, the style of the dress, no details spared.

Everything must be well thought through and clearly outlined.

Dream and dream big, don’t settle for less.

In life we must make the most of our opportunities and unless we have a plan (a dream, a vision) we will be groping in the dark when the opportunity comes knocking! 

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1 thought on “I am 29”

  1. The 4th quote here hit me, *Always put in the extra to everything* !!!!! Nicely said. It always works for me.. Big ups Duke

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