February Special III - Is love really enough?

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“Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the corner stone – but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding”

Is love really enough? 

She says…..
 
Yes, Let me explain.
 
Love isn’t just a feeling, the euphoria and sweet nothings of being with someone. Love is a commitment, to say I choose you over all others and you can wake up and say this person is mine no double checking. No withholding of affection, no guess work, permutation and combination. 
 
Yes, love is enough When you are with someone who is on the same page and plane with you. There in love you have everything you need- companionship, mutual respect, peace, adoration, emotional security, selflessness, generosity, kindness, stability, reciprocity, faithfulness, understanding, passion, intimacy, commitment, trust. I can go on and on.
 
If love is going to be enough it has to be a two-way street; two people giving and committing to each other to make it work. But, then if it feels like work, especially hard futile work it’s most likely not love anymore. 
Love is not a battlefield, love is a place where things grow, love preserves, it protects, it serves, it is vulnerable and unambiguous. 
Rather, people in love face challenges together, they see a common goal, common purpose even common enemies!
 
Many of us have issues understanding this kind of love in couples when we encounter it because we have been conditioned to be with people with our brains, count scores, measure and keep records.
 
Introducing logic into love upturns the balance! 
 
If there was logic in love, Jesus won’t come to die for us! 
Mathematics belongs in logic, not in love. 
The scale will always be balanced between two people who are loving and constantly choosing each other without holding anything back. 
Don’t let the society fool you, you would be lucky to find someone to love blindly who loves you blindly in return.
 
And he says…..
 
My dear, the truth is…..love is never enough. Giving lorry loads of love with expensive gifts and loads of feel-good moments won’t stop your partner from eyeing the next good-looking mate or even going the whole hug; cheating and loving that too. You have probably heard about a partner cheating even in a perfectly happy relationship. What changed?

No matter how hard you try to justify “love” as the reason why your relationship will outlive that of your “exes”, it will always fall short. Equally as important as our famed “love” is respect, trust, companionship, security and responsibility. The list is quite exhaustive.

In the days when spouses were selected by families of both couples, love was only nurtured after the man had earned the respect, trust and confidence of his spouse. Young maidens are advised to marry a man that loved them desperately even if they didn’t feel the same measure of love for him. This advice was always given by her mother!

Truly, in any relationship, the partners do not love equally. One partner will always love more. How then can love be enough?

“I love you” is never enough! It may be a starting point, but there is a long road ahead and that road is laced with turns and twist that requires much more resilience than just love can muster.

Don’t get blinded by the sweet words and the promises of heaven and earth, love is just not enough to build a successful relationship let alone a long lasting marriage and family.

Please join the conversation in the comment section.

Cheers.

 

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7 thoughts on “February Special III – He said/she said”

  1. Love is never, can never, will never be enough. Saying, “I love you” is like buying JAMB form ….that is not enough to call you a graduate. Wetin dey after 6 pass 7

  2. Love is enough.
    However, there is a but.
    The ‘but’ is it has to be equal and unfortunately it is almost impossible
    For love not to be expensive or been about gifts both parties must believe in that ideology.
    So Love is never enough because we are humans who are insatiable, selfish and sometimes greedy

    1. Speaking from experience, LOVE can never be enough even if it’s mutual. Get Wisdom and you enjoy the relationship all the way.

  3. AbdulSalam Rukayat folake

    Love will be enough, very enough if we’ll defined, love is tolerance, perseverance, patience, truth, kindness,, care, prayer intersesory, sacrificend every good way to help a partner live nd be happy
    The topic of discussion should rather BE’IS I LOVE yoU ENOUGH’that statement means nothing until u start acting d characteristics of love….. My take on time Akin

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