February Special I - It is ME, not YOU

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“it’s far better to hear it is them, and not you, than to wait and see how it goes without them letting you know where they are really at”

The February Series is a 2-minute short read with opinions from two diverse personalities about everyday relationship and marital concerns.

The post is intended to stir conversations around the subjects especially in the comment section so that others can learn or even lend a voice.


These are opinions of the writers alone and do not represent the thoughts of any of the generations as a whole.

He said…..

It’s me not you. Yes, its me!

I am the one who is confused about what I want. It’s has to be me! I am the one who isn’t cut out for loving.

Please don’t blame yourself, its not about you. I need fixing and it just can’t be with you. Please don’t cry or rue the lost times, just put the blame on me. I couldn’t sort myself out and you deserve someone better.

Sounds familiar? It’s a classic break-up line and it’s not restricted to any gender. Once it is time to break it off, the aim is to ensure that the “ex” feels a lot better about the dissolution of the once cherished relationship and to end things on a fairly good note. Perhaps even leave an in-route for reconciliation in the near future.

In many relationships one partner loves more than the other and no matter how much love is shared or given, deep rooted hurt and pain is often the parting gift.

To love is therefore to endure pain. The question then remains how much pain either party can bear and who has the right to say “It’s me, not you”

Is it the partner that loves blindly or the one who is deliberate about the break-up that takes the highway down the point of no return?

Even in love, one partner always wields the advantage and confidently ends it with a confused look and with a pleading face.


She said…..

Its you not me? Really? Is that what you say after 2 years? No wonder you refused to step out as a couple with me each time I asked.

It makes sense now, everything I wanted you say that you didn’t say. The “what are we” question you didn’t answer. It’s always let’s go with the flow and see where this end. Now it has ended at “its me not you”

Variant of the typical reaction of a woman whose heart has just been broken with those words – its me not you. It’s saying maybe when the answer is no.

The confusion that ensues can leave you questioning your worth and wonder at how you couldn’t see the duplicity from miles away.

You probably did see but ignored it hoping you saw and felt wrong. So here is what I advise. Take the word at surface. It is indeed them not you. You did your best, yes you wanted more but they aren’t the one to give it to you. Don’t over analyze or attempt to prove your worth to them.

The time spent together is not entirely wasted, look on the bright side and put them firmly where they belong; behind you along with any story they came up with to qualify theit is me not you speech.

Bonus point- shut the door firmly, the easy way-out speech is to create an avenue to sneak back in. heck! they can even say let’s be friends. You know better sis, you deserve love in it whole divinity. Do not settle for less.


Please join the conversation.

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4 thoughts on “February Special I – He said/she said”

  1. I think it’s a cowardly approach as best, or a sinister move at worse when people come at you with the it’s you not me speech!
    Use the door and don’t disturb my sanity

  2. Very technical write up. Really tough to understand like relationship itself. Love affair is tepid, some we win others will loose. On both sides, lots of pain involved. If you have to break up no problems, just do it as clean as possible.

  3. Interesting topic, women take a while to say yes to kickoff a relationship and usually they tend to get axed rather than axe, perhaps they took their time before saying yes,while it’s typical of men to look further(not all men though) after eating of the cherished fruit for new fruits. By and large most relationship aren’t objective and for the most part subjective as partners are chosen to meet external ‘standards’

  4. Break-ups are sad and painful but they also herald the coming of new opportunities! Look on the bright side and move on. I’m glad I did.

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