
Cheers to 2025
Every New Year holds promise, as though it is any different from the turn of
“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believe in people” Roy T. Bennett
Just like many of my recent posts, I always wanted to write about some of the obvious truths and realities staring us in the face as a people. There are probably tons of subjects I would love to write about and hopefully, I will get round to it sooner or later. But today I write about the love we lost as a people.
This is not a self-righteous rant. But please allow me vent!
I will start with a couple of scenarios from our everyday lives and then I will talk through at the end;
Scenario 1 – The Traffic Scenario
If you live in Lagos, this is surely not a strange scenario. You probably see it every day.
You are driving through traffic and some other dude driving in the next lane maneuvers “rudely” into the space ahead of you or tries to prevent you from changing lanes the moment you turn on your trafficator light. And this has nothing to do with the model of the car, or whether it’s a lady behind the wheels or a senior citizen. Some do it deliberately passing on their frustration and road rage into other drivers delay.
I always have this to say – We are not going the same way and you simply cannot arrive at my destination before me. It’s not a competition and I wonder why we must struggle to do everything even in the traffic!
Staying on the traffic scenario; while I know that our system for traffic management is seriously flawed, some drivers simply have no respect or regards for the traffic lights at important junctions. They drive past even when the light is red! When we break the very laws designed to help us, how can we say love exist. Breaking the traffic light would put other users in great confusion and turmoil. A distracted driver would simply run into the offender. Do we not care about what happens to others when we break the law?
I know I know…you probably already have answers for me!
Scenario 2 – The Queue Scenario
Is it not a reflection of our distaste for order and ultimately respect for fellow human being when we shunt queues?
For starters, it is to some extent, natural to be self-oriented. After all, what else do we know? We are at the center of our own worlds, always looking to serve our interest alone. But there is a queue and it serves to create orderliness, but we look at those on the queue as lacking connections or having more time on their hands. What happened to waiting our turn? What happened to staying in line or waiting patiently? We got no chill, no love, no patience!!
It is clear that we only think about ourselves. We selfishly compete with unknown forces and care for no one else. We are self-conceited, self-centered and all the nasty “self-*” words I can’t even think about right now!
“Where is the love?”
But love used to exist. The things we see now are not new, they have become rather prevalent and increasingly annoying.
If you look at the news today, it is replete with gory stories of all sort of human atrocity committed against fellow humans. How we can live with these sort of deep lack of love/hatred for each other is a wonder!
Spouses poisoning and killing each other, grandparents sexual misconduct on minors, friends killing each other for money, corrupt politicians committing funds intended for general good to private coffers, kidnapping, rituals and omg…..i certainly can’t run out of examples!
People like it when others fail and suffer. They get assured they are not alone in that predicament. They have trouble feeling happy for others and have no element of compassion left in them. People think only about themselves and their families, how they can enrich their pockets so generations would enjoy their largess. People desire nothing more than being ahead of their friends (who many times has no idea there is a competition) in every facet of life and they would do anything to make this happen. They want to get rich quickly and they are prepared to skip the growth stage, in the end we are left with half-baked millionaires!
I refuse to cite examples! It’s a rant!!!
How difficult is it to love? How far gone are we?
Surely you cannot love your fellow human and behave with this level of impunity and with reckless abandon? How do we think it would end?
It is almost depressing when you think about it. There is absolutely no love whatsoever in the equation. None!!!
Edmund burke in his opinion says;
There ought to be system of manners in every nation which a well-formed mind would be disposed to relish. To make us love our country, our country ought to be lovely.
While the country is bedeviled with a lot of other evils, love surely is one important and common evil across all fronts. Even though it sounds far-fetched and almost impossible, we must start radiating love. From our humble enclaves, our homes, our workplaces and other similar gatherings. Our fixation with prosperity has impaired our ability to love each other.
When we lose love, we lose a great chunk of what makes us human. We cannot expect a change to happen if we keep doing the same things. Therefore, we must start to show genuine love everywhere. It may cost us time, money, energy, but nothing fulfils a day until we show love without expecting same in return.
Can we just take a break to share some love today. Help someone in need, speak to that neighbor needing some advice, park without making others’ lives miserable. Consider the noise your stereo is making in your neighborhood when your aged neighbor is trying to catch some sleep. Stop tossing garbage into other people’s home. Stop making other people’s life miserable. Stop thinking about yourself for once! Be self-less!
Apologize when you hurt others, drop the ego, let peace reign. Drive with others in mind, stop competing on the road, life is much more intense than the adrenalin that gets you to make other drivers uncomfortable. Consider keeping to the law, stop taking advantage of the collective resource for yourself. Think first about others, act with them in mind.
Afterall we are all still humans!
Enough said!
Juan Crisostomo Ibarra once observed that the prosperity or misery of each people is in direct proportion to its liberties or its prejudices and, accordingly, to the sacrifices or the selfishness of its forefathers.

Every New Year holds promise, as though it is any different from the turn of

In an era that increasingly demands hyper-specialization, Akin Akingbogun stands out as a refreshing anomaly. He is a man who refuses to be confined to a single box.

There is a particular kind of silence that falls on a man when the phone stops ringing, the proposals go unanswered, and the diary that once groaned under the weight of appointments sits quietly — almost mockingly — open. If you have ever been there, you know it.

Let me tell you something uncomfortable: the most generous person you know — the one who volunteers every weekend, donates quietly, never asks for anything in return — is probably getting something out of it. Not money. Maybe not even recognition. But something.

Adaeze had been awake since 4 a.m.
Not because she was anxious — though she was — but because this trip felt different. After eighteen months of follow-ups, phone calls, and PowerPoint presentations polished to a mirror shine, the deal was finally ready to close. An investor meeting in Abuja. A partnership that would change the trajectory of her small but gutsy consulting firm. She had triple-checked her flight, her documents, her outfit. She had prayed. She was ready.

When he told his father, Dare’s first response was a sigh. Then: “I told you to practice more. I told you months ago. You don’t listen. You never listen.”
There was no “I’m sorry, son.” No pause to let the boy simply feel the loss of the thing he wanted. Just a swift, seamless pivot to what Temi had done wrong — and, by extension, how Temi’s failure was evidence of Temi’s failure to take his father’s wisdom seriously.

I want to tell you something that took me embarrassingly long to learn. Not because the idea is complicated — it is not. But because it cuts against something deeply wired in us, something we are rarely honest enough to admit.

You are somewhere between forty and fifty-five. You looked in the mirror recently and had a thought you immediately dismissed. Maybe you googled something at 2am that you would never say out loud. Maybe you bought something expensive and impractical and told everyone it was an investment. Or maybe you just feel — quietly, persistently — like the life you built was supposed to feel better than this by now.

Anton Chekhov was a Russian physician and playwright — a man trained in the discipline of diagnosis before he became one of the most precise storytellers in the history of world literature. That combination of sensibilities matters, because the principle he articulated in the late nineteenth century was not merely a rule of dramatic craft. It was an observation about the nature of significance itself. About what it means for something to be present. About the relationship between introduction and consequence.

There is a prison that has no concrete walls, no iron bars, no guards posted at the gate. Nobody built it for you. Nobody sentenced you to it. And yet, for many people, it is the place they spend the better part of their lives — circling its perimeter, brushing their fingers against its invisible boundaries, and quietly retreating each time they feel the edge of something that might require more of them than they believe they can give.

Picture a hand holding sand. The tighter the grip, the faster the grains escape between the fingers. Ease the grip — open the palm, allow the hand to become a vessel rather than a vice — and the sand stays. This is one of the oldest paradoxes of leadership, and one of the least learned: that control, pursued too aggressively, produces the very loss of control it was designed to prevent.

There is a version of ambition that builds. And there is a version of ambition that consumes. From a distance — and especially from inside it — they look almost identical. Both are energetic. Both are forward-moving. Both speak the language of vision and possibility. The difference only becomes visible later, usually at the point of fracture, when what was built begins to come apart under the weight of what was promised.

There is a particular kind of organisational absurdity that most people who have ever worked in a company will recognise immediately. It is the policy that was clearly designed by someone who has never had to implement it. The restructuring that looked elegant on a slide deck and chaotic on the ground. The customer-facing process that was overhauled by a committee that has not spoken to a customer in years. The directive that arrives from above, fully formed and non-negotiable, that causes the people closest to the work to exchange a look — the kind of look that says, without words: they have no idea what we actually do here.

We have built an entire mythology around exhaustion. In boardrooms and business culture — perhaps nowhere more so than in the high-pressure, always-on professional culture many of us inhabit — busyness has become a currency. To be tired is to be serious. To be overwhelmed is to be important. To be burning out, quietly, is somehow proof that you are fully committed.
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7 thoughts on “We lost Love”
RANT ON Duke!!!!!
We all get caught up in our selfish human instinct, but then we should conciously remind our selves of the fact that we need to show LOVE!!!!
Yes! Yes!!
On point Bro!
Good RANTING!! Enough said.
The issues raised in this post are so real that you can literally touch them, and it’s sad to say the least. God help us
Hmmmmm….my everyday concerns succinctly put in a rant like literature. I bet I’m not the only one wondering how we got to this stage where we care less about others just because we feel they are not families or friends. Unfortunately our actions affect both ourselves, families and friends in the long run. A man who disrupts traffic movements by driving against traffic or discriminatingly makes the road unsafe for others including those he loves and by sowing the seed of indiscipline, he’s prone to reap it in some way sooner than later. I hope we will always remember to think about how our actions or inactions affect others before we take any step.
Before my rant exceeds the initial rant, let me drop my pen here…..
This is what we lacked and baffling everyday….LOVE IS ESSENTIAL in our daily lives….Good one DUKES