
Cheers to 2025
Every New Year holds promise, as though it is any different from the turn of
“Only your actions are a direct mirror of your values. Nothing else”
Our values are constantly reflected in the way we choose to behave.
Our actions are a direct mirror of our values.
This subject has fascinated me for years, because in my humble opinion and experience, nothing has as much impact on our decisions, behavior patterns and actions as our revered value system.
But what does that even mean? Value system!!
We hear the words “Values” brandished about relentlessly in our corporate world. They adorn walls in offices and are often featured in product adverts for organizations. From experience, we already know that few employees exude the values the organizations often claim to project, but the idea is to have a sort of herd behavior from compliance with the tenets rather than achieve total compliance. This would apply especially when the organization is pretty large.
The compliance with the values of an organization will ultimately determine the organizational performance in the industry. Because values are the building blocks for the culture of an organization, it plays a critical role in the sort of behavior or attitude observed with her employees.
However, individuals also have personal values and when these conflicts with that of an organization, the incongruity will often breed conflicts and affect performance.
The Personal Value system is a smaller bit of that concept, but on a much more personal level. It is the basis for which every individual is held accountable for their behavior and actions.
Your personal value system is a set of principles or ideals that drive and/or guides your behavior. It gives you structure and purpose by helping you determine what is meaningful and important to you. It helps you express who you are and what you stand for.
Every moment of every day, whether you realize it or not, you are making a decision of how to spend your time, of what to pay attention to, of where to direct your energy.
Only your actions are a direct mirror of your values. Nothing else. If punctuality was important to you, you would never be late. If honesty were an important value for you, you would rather deal with the negative consequences of not lying. If you viewed frugality as desirable, you would never randomly throw money around.
Values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong or what „ought“ to be.
If you ever wondered why I am almost never late to a meet up, look no further, I learnt that from my dad! In meeting up with friends, whether formal or informal, my sole objective is to arrive early enough. It can be daunting especially when you find out that not many people consider punctuality as a value they hold dear. When I meet new friends who keep to time, I hold them in high esteem.
I believe that being punctual requires a lot of planning- deciding beforehand what to wear, the route to travel, checking the map for traffic conditions, leaving early! This becomes a routine because I fill quite fulfilled when I arrive much earlier than my companions.
The waiting time, you ask? I spend it on something productive. I could catch up on news updates, or review to-do list or even watch a comedy skit. In the end, no time is lost!
Values tend to influence attitudes and behavior
All men are thrust into tough situations from time to time – situations where the right thing to do isn’t obvious. Knowing which values are most important to you before these situations arise will help you make better decisions.
My values are the magnets in my moral compass. They allow me make difficult decisions with conviction – where many men might waiver.
You need values to unclutter your life. You need values to know how to respond in tough situations. You need values to forge lasting relationships with those around you. Without a core set of values to live from, there can be a lot of confusion and ambiguity. Our values set boundaries for us.
Life isn’t black and white. But with a well-defined personal value that you live by, you will feel more fulfilled and happy even if they don’t make sense to other people.
Your personal values also help to determine what kind of people you keep around, what purpose you seek, and how you treat others. When people say, “show me your friends and I will tell you who you are”, it reflects the aggregate of the values that resonates with the company you keep.
With the risk of sounding very bored and almost academic, I must reinstate that no person can achieve a set objective about any task or endeavor in life unless it aligns to a great extent with his personal value.
If you run a business that requires a lot of customer service and active engagement with external stakeholders, but you do not have respect as a personal value that you consider important, the business will implode within months or weeks. Even when you hire others to do the engagement on your behalf; as long as you do not respect their person, their thoughts and demonstrate good opinion for your employee, it would reflect on his/her behavior to the clients or customers. It’s a ripple effect!
Why do you think your lofty plans fell through? Can you reconsider your personal values?
Here’s what people mean when they say they need to “find themselves”: they’re finding new values. Our identity—that is, the thing that we perceive and understand as the “self”—is the aggregation of everything we value. So when you run away to be alone somewhere, what you’re really doing is running away somewhere to re-evaluate your values.
To create your own personal value system, you have to consider what matters most to you. Professionals typically divide life into eight major areas, of which we have to fulfill to some degree to live happily. These include:
Environment
Career
Fun
Romance
Personal growth
Money
Health
Friends and family
Consult the list above and decide which areas of life are most important to you. For example: Would you rather work long hours to get that promotion or do you care more about spending valuable time with friends and family? Are you set on living somewhere you can make a lot of money or would you rather live in a town you truly enjoy? Don’t get me wrong: you don’t have to choose between one or the other (e.g. career vs. friends and family).
Everybody is different, and what makes one person happy may leave another person feeling anxious or disengaged.
If you are caught in the quagmire of indecision about any aspect of your life, you probably need to revert back to your personal value system. Whether to redefine it to suit your new objective or to align with it to make a firm decision.
The call is yours to make.
I would really feel gutted if I didn’t mention this last bit!
Keeping to your values is a deliberate and intentional activity. You must remind yourself consistently until it is ingrained in your subconscious. To be an excellent and outstanding leader or individual, you must live your values and your actions would either betray or reinforce your leadership.
Finally, when your employees or followers have a clear knowledge about the leader’s personal values, they are quick to align and act accordingly. Therefore choose wisely and ensure it aligns with your vision, goals, objectives and target for your life.
You see, having a personal value system is incredibly important for you because life isn’t black and white, you must lever your responses/reactions to life’s twist and turns and they must be in line with a set of important values that must be in BLACK & WHITE.

Every New Year holds promise, as though it is any different from the turn of

In an era that increasingly demands hyper-specialization, Akin Akingbogun stands out as a refreshing anomaly. He is a man who refuses to be confined to a single box.

There is a particular kind of silence that falls on a man when the phone stops ringing, the proposals go unanswered, and the diary that once groaned under the weight of appointments sits quietly — almost mockingly — open. If you have ever been there, you know it.

Let me tell you something uncomfortable: the most generous person you know — the one who volunteers every weekend, donates quietly, never asks for anything in return — is probably getting something out of it. Not money. Maybe not even recognition. But something.

Adaeze had been awake since 4 a.m.
Not because she was anxious — though she was — but because this trip felt different. After eighteen months of follow-ups, phone calls, and PowerPoint presentations polished to a mirror shine, the deal was finally ready to close. An investor meeting in Abuja. A partnership that would change the trajectory of her small but gutsy consulting firm. She had triple-checked her flight, her documents, her outfit. She had prayed. She was ready.

When he told his father, Dare’s first response was a sigh. Then: “I told you to practice more. I told you months ago. You don’t listen. You never listen.”
There was no “I’m sorry, son.” No pause to let the boy simply feel the loss of the thing he wanted. Just a swift, seamless pivot to what Temi had done wrong — and, by extension, how Temi’s failure was evidence of Temi’s failure to take his father’s wisdom seriously.

I want to tell you something that took me embarrassingly long to learn. Not because the idea is complicated — it is not. But because it cuts against something deeply wired in us, something we are rarely honest enough to admit.

You are somewhere between forty and fifty-five. You looked in the mirror recently and had a thought you immediately dismissed. Maybe you googled something at 2am that you would never say out loud. Maybe you bought something expensive and impractical and told everyone it was an investment. Or maybe you just feel — quietly, persistently — like the life you built was supposed to feel better than this by now.

Anton Chekhov was a Russian physician and playwright — a man trained in the discipline of diagnosis before he became one of the most precise storytellers in the history of world literature. That combination of sensibilities matters, because the principle he articulated in the late nineteenth century was not merely a rule of dramatic craft. It was an observation about the nature of significance itself. About what it means for something to be present. About the relationship between introduction and consequence.

There is a prison that has no concrete walls, no iron bars, no guards posted at the gate. Nobody built it for you. Nobody sentenced you to it. And yet, for many people, it is the place they spend the better part of their lives — circling its perimeter, brushing their fingers against its invisible boundaries, and quietly retreating each time they feel the edge of something that might require more of them than they believe they can give.

Picture a hand holding sand. The tighter the grip, the faster the grains escape between the fingers. Ease the grip — open the palm, allow the hand to become a vessel rather than a vice — and the sand stays. This is one of the oldest paradoxes of leadership, and one of the least learned: that control, pursued too aggressively, produces the very loss of control it was designed to prevent.

There is a version of ambition that builds. And there is a version of ambition that consumes. From a distance — and especially from inside it — they look almost identical. Both are energetic. Both are forward-moving. Both speak the language of vision and possibility. The difference only becomes visible later, usually at the point of fracture, when what was built begins to come apart under the weight of what was promised.

There is a particular kind of organisational absurdity that most people who have ever worked in a company will recognise immediately. It is the policy that was clearly designed by someone who has never had to implement it. The restructuring that looked elegant on a slide deck and chaotic on the ground. The customer-facing process that was overhauled by a committee that has not spoken to a customer in years. The directive that arrives from above, fully formed and non-negotiable, that causes the people closest to the work to exchange a look — the kind of look that says, without words: they have no idea what we actually do here.

We have built an entire mythology around exhaustion. In boardrooms and business culture — perhaps nowhere more so than in the high-pressure, always-on professional culture many of us inhabit — busyness has become a currency. To be tired is to be serious. To be overwhelmed is to be important. To be burning out, quietly, is somehow proof that you are fully committed.
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7 thoughts on “Life isn’t black & White”
I’m punctual when it’s formal, but you see Ehh ,being punctual when is informal is something I am working on. I even recently upset someone really close to me because of this. My Mission 2021 now is PUNCTUALITY!!!!
Values are supposed to be the bedrock of life but how much of it do we stick to and truly live by? Are some values easier to embody while some not so much? Can values shift? So much to ponder!
Values are our guides and they are in line with our personal vision and perception about our selves and the future. If ever our perception and vision changes, then poof goes our values.
Values can’t shift. A shift in values destroys whatever you might have built. One should be known for something and will certainly be respected for it.
I will accept my sub. I will work on it
Value!! surely will work in it ASAP because it will help to guide one. Lovely piece
Very interesting one Akin,the paragraph that touched on people’s achievement in objectives and endeavors aligning with their personal values more than strikes gold for me…. that’s it,no more