A woman Scorned – a short story Author – Dupe Bobadoye Ibadan, Iwo Road, Oshodi,
“A Fresh start is not a destination but a mindset”
Happy new year folks!
Yeah, we can release the bated breaths now. No doubt 2020 was a challenging year for the most part, unprecedented times if you ask me.
I am young enough to know nothing about the Spanish flu pandemic and other pandemics that had ravaged the world in time past except for what I read online and in books, of course. This current pandemic is not over by any means, we all need to keep taking precautions to ensure our continuous safety and those of loved ones.
The uncertainties, the social issues, economic downturns, the sublime unrest and other baggage that we all have to deal with, may have put a damper on our outlook and cause some weariness. In the end putting your best foot forward may be an uphill task.
I am not really a fan of the ‘new year new me’ Fad and all that yada yada. Don’t blame me, I have seen enough to know that it is all powered by the euphoria of a new year and if careful thoughts and plans are not put in place, by December 31st of the year if one bothers to take stock, one will find there was nothing new achieved.
One thing I do believe in is a fresh start, so I am leveraging on this auspicious period to have a conversation about it.
Everyday offers us an opportunity of a fresh start, a clean slate, a new sheet. But you will agree with me that some moments are more monumental than others. For many people the beginning of a new year signifies a renewal of hope, new opportunities, fresh perspective and everything that newness brings.
A fresh start in my humble opinion, is a chance at a ‘do over’, to begin again, without prejudice. An opportunity to put your best foot forward and conquer your fears, take the bull by the horn and make magic happen! This is something to be excited about, embraced with both arms and should infuse you with renewed energy because the possibilities are endless.
Why are you holding on to an obsolete situation that puts you on lockdown and depletes your energy?
Why are you not taking that leap of faith?
Why have you not kick-started that idea you have been toying with in your head?
Why have you not done anything about following your dream?
Why are you slowing down on achieving purpose and giving life to that vision?
Why haven’t you dropped those habits that no longer serve your purpose and embrace new ones which are in line with your goals?
Oh right, you tried before and it didn’t work out!
You don’t have the right tools to set out?!
I will let you come up with your own excuses, absolutely no need to do that for you.
You are afraid to fail so you don’t even try.
You cannot keep going the wrong way and expect to get to your destination no matter how diligent you are on that journey. Now is a good time as ever to reevaluate the course and set new trajectories. Realign and launch out again with focus on the goal, set new goals if you have to, you own them! Nobody can decide for you what your goals and aspiration should look like, it is all on you.
The good news is that you won’t be starting from the scratch, you will be starting from experience!
You are a sum total of everything you know and have been through, nothing can take that from you. Use what you know now to your advantage. Clicking the refresh button does not mean your life is over, NO.
Everything you have saved belongs to you. You own the power to review, edit, delete or archive the sum total of your current existence. You get my drift?
The power to “be” belongs to you. Utilize it to your advantage, you are not stationary, do not accept your lot in life if it is not working for you. You can be who you want to be despite everything you consider as setback today if you decide today to give yourself a fresh start!
A fresh start will not be handed to you on a platter of gold, it must be a conscious decision backed up with plans which honestly, you can make as you go along.
You don’t need to have the full picture for you to take the plunge. You will never know if you don’t start.
Gather momentum and move!
The first move is yours, -there is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul- Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
What to do?
Accept that things are about to change and commit to it.
Make peace with the past, kiss it goodbye and set sail. Release yourself from weight that hold you down. This is more mental than physical. If you win the battle in your head, the physical is trivial.
Revaluate your value system- this will help realign you. your value system is your centre, that is your guiding light. How far have you drifted? Do you need to update them or formulate new ones? Your values will help shape your goals.
Make a plan and stick to it- yes it is as simple as that. When the road gets rough please don’t quit, hold on to your convictions.
Actions not reactions- If you’re reacting to what’s happening, you’ll never start fresh. Change-by-reaction is rooted in fear and is just a form of escapism. Even more, you’ll end up continuously being chased by what you’re running from.
Make your own judgment and don’t react to pressures that will be thrown at you, trust me, the pressures will come and you have to be prepared.
Look on the bright side- don’t sweat the small stuff. It can only get better from here on.
Keep a track of your achievements- this will help to spur you on when the road is rough and things get sticky. A friendly reminder of masterpiece that you are and what you can do. It will constantly infuse you with a healthy dose of self-esteem.
Say it to yourself – look in the mirror and tell the person looking at you what you have set out to achieve. You’re largely what you’re saying to yourself. You actually do what you continuously tell to your brain to do. You can’t start fresh without taking action.
Focus- One thing we often ignore, is that our reality is generated by our focus. Whatever we’re focusing on, it grows. So, a new beginning could be in fact just the result of a focus shift. A change of mind set will literally change your life.
Don’t self-sabotage – What if I tell you that the biggest enemy of yourself is you? What if I’ll tell you that you’re afraid of success? What if I’ll tell you that you don’t live up to your dreams by fear of failure? All of these mindsets are forms of self-sabotage. And they are more dangerous than you think. Thinking that you cannot have that expected end regardless of how much you try is a form of self-sabotage. Don’t do it!
We all know where we need that fresh start, it won’t happen by waving a magical wand. But the good thing is that you are in control of this ship called self, you may be lucky to find a voice cheering you on but the loudest should be yours, remember you are your own primary cheerleader and chief motivator.
In this new year, do something that scares you, do it afraid but do it anyway.
Take that leap of faith!
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